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Better Now [Jun. 9th, 2010|11:29 pm]
[Current Mood |draineddrained]
[Current Music |Television - This Tune | Powered by Last.fm]

i've got such a long day ahead of me tomorrow. i got absolutely nothing done today, including the grocery shopping. i have a house that needs cleaned, laundry that needs done, an appt at 2, grocery shopping, etc... i feel a meltdown coming on if i can manage to get even part of that list done. or even if i can't, for that matter. at least i'm not sick anymore.
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UGH [Jun. 9th, 2010|04:08 pm]
[Current Mood |sicksick]
[Current Music |Wipers - Can This Be | Powered by Last.fm]

it's been quite an awful day. i woke up at 3am this morning with the most awful stomach ache. i tried to sleep, but i just tossed and turned. about 4am, i started my hugging of the toilet. i don't know if it was food poisoning or what, but i've been sick ever since. feeling a little better now, but extremely nauseous. 

because of being sick, i did not take littleD to his dentist appt today. D did. i am proud to report that my 4 year old has no cavities!!! i'm extremely happy about this! on the other hand, though... i got nothing at all done today and i am dreading grocery shopping later this evening. atleast D will be going with me.
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An Ode To Getting Something Done [Jun. 8th, 2010|05:12 pm]
[Current Mood |blahblah]
[Current Music |Wire - Mannequin | Powered by Last.fm]

why is it that loading the dishwasher feels like such an accomplishment to me? woooo, i did some dishes and i feel like i just won a nobel prize. and as always, i promise myself that i will do more tomorrow. i actually do have a lot to do outside of the house tomorrow. littleD has a dental appt, i need to turn in a job application, and grocery shopping is vital. i've been putting off so much lately. it's bad enough as it is, but we're also trying to find a cheaper rent place... which could possibly mean that we will need to have the house in moving condition at any given notice. fun stuff. not really. i'm looking forward to the idea of moving, though. a fresh start seems very appealing to me lately... another chance of getting my life together. 
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Here We Go [Jun. 8th, 2010|02:13 pm]
[Current Mood |tiredtired]
[Current Music |Minutemen - Maybe Partying Will Help | Powered by Last.fm]

i had every intention on getting stuff done today, but all i want to do is sleep. 
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Writer's Block: Instant wish [Jun. 8th, 2010|04:12 am]
[Current Mood |awake]
[Current Music |Pixies - Hey | Powered by Last.fm]

If you could have one--and only one--wish granted in the next five minutes, what would you wish? How do you think it would improve your life?

this one is pretty simple for me... i'd wish to have the brain of a functioning human; no bi-polar. my BP holds me back from many things in life, and i think that if it was something i didn't have to deal with that i could be a better mother and wife. 
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No Sleep [Jun. 8th, 2010|03:11 am]
[Current Mood |awake]
[Current Music |A Perfect Circle - 3 Libras]

i can't sleep tonight. it's far too hot in the house.
no sense in tossing and turning while D attempts to sleep. 

i am in love with this song lately, beautiful in every way...

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Writer's Block: A rose by any other name [Jun. 7th, 2010|04:04 pm]
[Current Mood |calmcalm]
[Current Music |Deftones - Change (In the House of Flies) | Powered by Last.fm]

Do you like your birth name? If you had the opportunity to change it, would you? What new name would you choose?

honestly, i've always fancied something shorter than "miranda", but never had the guts to go by my middle name like many others do. the good thing is that my name rarely gets mispronounced... only misspelled by the masses.
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Entry Numero Uno [Jun. 7th, 2010|02:17 pm]
[Current Mood |chipperchipper]
[Current Music |Wire - Mercy | Powered by Last.fm]

i keep telling myself i'm too old for this blogging stuff, but lately, i realize that i may actually *need* it... and if i can help someone in the process, so be it! you see, i have been diagnosed bi-polar one several times over the course of my life, so, i guess it's a fairly accurate assumption. i used to be highly ashamed of my bi-polar, but it's really hit me lately that the more i hide it, the worse it will get. so, yes, i intend to use this journal to laugh, cry, and communicate the issues i deal with on a day-to-day basis.

i'm miranda, 28, married (to D), mother (of littleD). I love all kinds of music, movies, photography, internet... and *gasp* farmville. because of my bi-polar, i do not leave the house often. it's not that i don't enjoy sunshine, it's more that i fear people... even the ones i know that love me. i'm aware that my fears are irrational, but my brain does not allow me to combat them with logical thinking. i've been on effexor xr and abilify for several months and while i feel that it has helped with my general mood, i still don't feel as if i'm a functioning human. i have my next appt on thursday and i will address some of these issues with my clinician.
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